Have you ever wondered why some people are happy living in the Clovis/Portales area and some people are not? Would you believe it if a scientist told you that the cause of this was a simple microorganism?

8 months ago

Latest Post Charlie by Peter Emmett Naughton

Have you ever wondered why some people are happy living in the Clovis/Portales area and some people are not? Would you believe it if a scientist told you that the cause of this was a simple microorganism? A microorganism controlling the basic emotions of hundreds of people? It seems impossible, but maybe it is not.

Scientists have found a microorganism in the soil of the Clovis/Portales area. The scientists named this organism Helliholeious. Helliholeious releases a substance called a pheromone into the air that can affect the behavior of other species. Different pheromones cause different responses in different creatures. The release of pheromones is an uncontrolled reaction caused by a stimulus in the environment. In the case of Helliholeious, the stimulus is bovine waste products. The secondary stomach of bovines produces a chemical, methylanus, which Helliholeious excretes into the soil along with the bovine’s waste products. Methylanus causes the Helliholeious organism to release a specialized pheromone, melancholyvivaciousresponsilious (MVR).

In the human organism, MVR causes either great happiness or extreme unhappiness; very few are immune. This feeling of happiness is addictive. People born in the Clovis/Portales area only leave for a short time for college and then come back, or they just never leave. Military personnel retire in this area because of this happiness. The happiness causes actions that may not be normal. This may be part of the cause of a high teen pregnancy rate. The other cause for this is the unhappy side effect of the MVR. When teens are unhappy they look for a way to become happy. Sex is a form of exercise, and exercise releases endorphins, which make you happy. The unhappy side effect may also be the cause of the high underage smoking and drinking incidence, as well as illegal drug use. Many of the people who respond to the MVR pheromone in an unhappy way leave the area and never return. The ones who stay or return may be affected enough by the pheromone to be the people responsible for the crime in this area.

A recent study done on this pheromone shows that residents born and raised in the Clovis/Portales area show positive effects from the MVR pheromone. Non-natives are most often negatively affected by the pheromone. This is both good and bad. The Air Force base in the area provides for many unhappy people. The MVR pheromone may affect young Airmen in such a way that they commit crimes. The same should go for the students at the local university.

However, scientists discovered that there is a variable in the Portales area. Portales grows and processes peanuts. The peanut plant releases a nutrient, structurous rearangous, into the soil during the fall months. The structurous rearangous causes an increase in production of the MVR pheromone. A sign of this mutation is an increased production and an altered structure that also changes the potency of the pheromone. The change in potency changes the effect on the area residents.

This study is very interesting to the local residents. Some find it impossible to believe that a microorganism is controlling their lives. Others find it a relief to know that there is nothing wrong with them and that they feel the way they do for a reason.

This is an answer to explain their children’s actions. What do you think? Are you experiencing these feelings, or are you one of the few who are immune? What about your children? Are they very unhappy? Doctors are looking for a way to block the effects of this pheromone, but they are also looking into the possibilities of using the MVR pheromone as an antidepressant. It is amazing what one microorganism can do to the lives of people, both positively and negatively.


Chrystal Woodward produced this piece for Palabras 1.0.


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Published 8 months ago

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